The Choice
by Saturn Girl
Summary: Warning! Dark fic. Xander is captured by Angelus and Drusilla.
1. Death

  
Title: The Choice (1/2)  
Author: Saturn Girl  
Email: saturngirl9@hotmail.com  
  
Spoilers: Second season  
Pairing: D/X and A/C  
Rating: R for violence, language, sexual content  
Warnings: Dark Fic...Character death, implied rape  
Summary: AU. Xander is captured by Angelus and Drusilla.  
  
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for a few minutes, that's all. Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind I'm still pretty new at this.   
  
******  
  
Reeling from a strong blow, Xander fell to the floor and let out a pained moan. He writhed against the tight cords binding his wrists behind his back, and tried to distance himself from the dark figure standing above him.  
  
"Perhaps you didn't hear me very well the first time. Let's recap, shall we?" The vampire enunciated his words carefully as he addressed the fallen Slayerette.   
  
"Exactly what method of torture do you find the most excruciating, Harris? Your choices are A) burning, B) slashing, C) bone-crushing, or D) getting the shit knocked out of you with a blunt instrument. C'mon...you've had plenty of first hand demonstrations to help you decide on your answer, so let's hear it!" He punctuated his request with a vicious kick to Xander's stomach.  
  
Groaning in pain, the youth replied, "I choose E)... Fuck you and your multiple choice quiz, Dead Boy." His voice hoarse and dry from screaming, Xander gathered all his resources to spit at the vampire when he leaned down to grab the young man by the throat.  
  
The vampire laughed as he wiped Xander's bloody saliva from his cheek, and tasted it. "Yum. Makes me really hungry for dinner, boy." He backhanded the youth, sending him sprawling into the nearby arms of Drusilla. "And the name is Angelus," he corrected. "I know you've always been a slow learner, Harris, but I'll keep working on you until you learn to address me with the proper respect."  
  
"Naughty boy. Spitting at Daddy will only make him more cross with you. Don't you want to play nice with us, kitten?" cooed Drusilla, as she caressed Xander's bruised and bloodied bare chest.  
  
Xander flinched away from her touch. "Get the hell away from me!" Ignoring his protests, Drusilla pulled the struggling young man closer, and lapped at the blood trailing from his split lip. With a growl, she kissed him hungrily, losing herself in the coppery sweetness of his mouth. With effort, Xander was finally able to break away from the kiss, and he gasped for breath.  
  
"Mmmm...Angelus is right. You're such a lovely boy, so tasty. Miss Edith is very pleased that Daddy brought you to us. We do so enjoy our playtime with you, my precious one." Drusilla lazily slid her hand down his chest, snaking her way down to the top button of his pants.  
  
"No!" Xander jerked his body as far away from the vampire as he could. "Get away from me, you psycho! I'm not your damn anatomically correct Ken doll!"  
  
"So willful. So defiant. Daddy will teach you how to behave." Drusilla grinned as Xander tried to fend off her advances, a near impossible task with his hands still tied.  
  
"Harris, you always were a pain in the ass," chuckled Angelus as he moved to the far corner of the room. He paused at the mangled corpse of a young woman lying on the floor.   
  
"Cordelia, you really should have taken the time to teach your boyfriend some manners. Oops, I forgot! Look who I'm asking - you're a tactless, rude little bitch. Well, you used to be when you were alive, anyway."  
  
"Bastard. You'll die for what you did to her. I promise you that." Xander's normally gentle brown eyes seethed with hatred for the creature that had murdered the girl he loved.  
  
"I really wish I had a videotape so we could watch an instant replay. Oh well, too late now. Note to self - buy a video camera, so I can preserve all life's special moments." His lips curled into a cruel smile as he addressed Xander again.   
  
"Hey, time for a new multiple choice question...which was your favorite part? When I plucked Cordelia's eyes out and fed them to Dru? Or when I raped her and she kept screaming your name? Boy, it was all so much fun, I can't decide myself. Although I must admit, listening to you beg for her life as I ripped her fingernails off one by one was definitely a high point."  
  
His eyes squeezed shut in a desperate attempt to keep his tears in check, Xander cried out for Angelus to shut up, straining uselessly against his bonds. Drusilla rocked the distraught youth, and looked up at Angelus with gleaming eyes.  
  
"Angelus, look, he cries so prettily. Please, let Mummy darken him! Miss Edith wants a new friend." Drusilla's face shifted, her fangs hovering over the shuddering boy's neck.  
  
"Hands, off, Dru. This one belongs to me." Angelus strode forward and yanked Xander from Drusilla's arms. She pouted, disappointed to have her favorite toy taken away.  
  
Dragging his captive over to Cordelia's still form in the corner, Angelus dipped his hand into a pool of her congealing blood. Xander tried in vain to keep his face turned away from the vampire as Angelus lifted a dripping finger to the boy's lips.  
  
"Taste!" Angelus laughed as he rubbed Cordelia's blood across Xander's bruised mouth. The boy retched, averting his eyes so he wouldn't see the look of triumph in the vampire's eyes. "Blood. That's what you have to look forward to, Harris. It sickens you now, but I promise that by tomorrow, it will be the only thing you care about."  
  
"Never." Xander looked back at Angelus, eyes determined. "Fuck you, Dead Boy. I'll die before you turn me. There's no way I'm gonna come back as a vampire. I like having a reflection and a soul just fine, thank you!"  
  
"Stupid mortal! You act like you have a choice!" roared the vampire, his handsome face morphing into his true demonic visage . "Get this, Xander. I...own...you. Understand? All this Xander-torture has just been foreplay for the main event, when I turn you."   
  
Angelus gripped Xander's bruised face, causing the boy to wince. "I have BIG plans for you, boy. Haven't you guessed yet? You're the key to breaking the Slayer!"  
  
"Oh, that horrible, wretched girl! Miss Edith hates the wicked Slayer. Alexander will hurt the Slayer for us, won't he Daddy!" Giggling, Drusilla watched Xander's eyes widen in horror as he realized what the vampires expected of him. "Yes...our sneaky, naughty kitten will bite the Slayer when she least expects it."  
  
"See, Buffy doesn't even know you're missing yet. She won't have a clue that I've turned you until it's too late. By then, you and I will have taken down the whole damn Scooby Gang. Excited yet? Quiz time! Who do you think will taste better - Giles or Willow?" Angel laughed. "But even if you fail, it'll break poor little Buffy's heart when she realizes she must stake you, her faithful white knight. Oh, what a tragedy that'll be, seeing you explode in a cloud of dust!" Angelus put his hand to his mouth in mock horror.  
  
"No." Xander shook his head and tried to free himself from the stronger man's grasp. "I'm not your Key Guy. I won't let you use me to hurt my friends! I wo...mmmph!" Angelus spun Xander around and clamped his hand firmly over the struggling boy's lips.  
  
"Shut up. You talk too much, Harris." Angelus pulled Xander close, cradling his body from behind, muffling Xander's angry protests as he sniffed the boy's exposed neck. He murmured into Xander's ear, "Shhh...I'm really going to enjoy this. Either you kill Buffy, or Buffy kills you. That's what I call a win/win situation."   
  
A startled cry escaped Xander's sealed lips when the vampire finally struck, sinking his fangs into the young man's neck. Angelus hummed as he greedily slurped at torn flesh, his strong arms holding his victim aloft after Xander's knees began to buckle.  
  
Drusilla clapped her hands together gleefully. "Yes, Miss Edith. Our lovely boy will cross over soon, and then we can play with him forever and ever..."   
  
Drusilla swayed to the sound of imaginary music as she watched Angelus drain their weakened captive. She smiled, and danced closer to Angelus. She watched Xander's struggles get slower and slower as the vampire fed from him. She wiped the tears from his bruised cheek, his terrified eyes beginning to glaze over.  
  
Before Xander's heart stopped beating, Drusilla drew her sharp nail across Angel's inner forearm, causing his dark blood to seep. Drunk on fresh blood, Angelus moaned as he drew his head back from the wound and unclamped his hand from the dying boy's mouth. As both men slid to the floor, Drusilla forced Xander's head into the crook of the vampire's bloody arm. With Angelus and Drusilla both pinning him to the floor, he tried to fight and move his head away, but the vampire's blood gushed freely and Xander couldn't stop the blood from trickling down his throat.  
  
With his arms trapped beneath him, the battered young man feebly tried to buck the vampires off his chest, but only succeeded in swallowing more blood. Finally, all the fight left his body, and Xander Harris was dead.   
  
*** to be continued ***  



	2. Rebirth

Title: The Choice (2a/2)  
Author: Saturn Girl  
Email: saturngirl9@hotmail.com  
  
Spoilers: Second season  
Characters: X, Aus, D, S  
Rating: R for violence, language, sexual content  
Warnings: Dark Fic...Character death, implied rape   
  
Summary: AU. In part one, Xander was captured by Angelus and Drusilla. In this part, Vamp Xander is born.   
  
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for a few minutes, that's all. Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind I'm still pretty new at this.   
  
*****  
  
The dark-haired young vampire opened his eyes.  
  
Surveying his surroundings, the Creature Formerly Known as Xander realized he was lying on the cold cement floor of the abandoned factory (isn't there always an abandoned factory?) that Angelus had brought him to. He turned his head and saw the sightless corpse of Cordelia Chase a few feet away.  
  
Struggling to push himself up, he remembered with much irritation that he was bound. Snapping the restraints with ease, the vampire rubbed his wrists and was surprised to notice that all the welts, bruises, and wounds he had sustained from his "playtime" with Angelus and Drusilla were healed.  
  
"Ahh...my precious one has been reborn! Spike, come see the new baby. Isn't he beautiful?" Drusilla glided into view and helped the confused fledgling vampire to his feet.  
  
Spike rolled his wheelchair closer to take a look at the reason why his princess and Brood Boy had been so preoccupied for the last 24 hours.  
  
"I feel...different." Xander stood his ground, warily taking in the situation. His eyes looked past Spike and settled on a figure standing in the shadows. He watched as a familiar face emerged.  
  
"What?! You turned the wanker?" Spike snorted in disgust as he recognized the Slayerette. "Well, there goes the bloody neighborhood."  
  
"Spike, that's no way to welcome the newest addition to our family. Go on, stand up and give your new brother a hug. Oh, sorry, I forgot - you can't," teased Angelus as he approached the new vampire.  
  
Spike's eyes darkened at the insult, and he pulled out a cigarette. As he lit up, he muttered beneath his breath, "I'll be right as rain soon enough, Nancy Boy. Then I'm going to have a nice bit of fun driving this damn chair straight up your arse."  
  
Angelus circled Xander, taking in the young man's transformation. Xander's eyes never left his. "Well, well, well. How do you feel, Harris? Sleep okay? Pleasant dreams, I trust?"   
  
"You did this to me." His voice was flat, emotionless.  
  
"Yes. That makes me your Sire. Kinda like your boss, Harris, so don't piss me off." Angelus stood eye to eye with the youth. With a menacing smile, he said, "You don't want to know what I do to insubordinate employees."  
  
"I think I have a pretty good idea what you're capable of, Angelus."   
  
"Good." He slapped Xander lightly on the cheek and smiled darkly. The younger vampire's eyes never wavered. "We have an understanding, then." Drusilla moved up behind her Sire and traced her fingers along the sleeves of his silk shirt.  
  
"We will have so much fun tonight, Daddy. Death, torment, screams, despair...I can barely wait!" She twirled around Angelus and Spike, excited. "It will be a lovely party! A birthday party for Alexander! With lots of delicious presents!"  
  
"What the hell is she talking about? Angelus, what's going on? What party?" Spike looked utterly confused.  
  
Xander backed slowly away from the older vampires. He stalked around the room, eyes roaming, searching like a hunter.  
  
He paused at a workbench piled up with personal items Angelus had stripped from him and Cordelia. A denim jacket, a purse, a wallet filled with photographs of smiling people. As Angelus filled Spike in on his plan to attack Buffy and her friends, Xander rifled through all the mementos from his previous life. Drusilla approached, embracing him.   
  
"What are you doing, precious?" asked Drusilla, as she nibbled his ear.  
  
"Nothing. It's just junk." He tossed the wallet aside, his face betraying not a flicker of emotion.  
  
"That's right, kitten. Your old life is over, but your new existence is just beginning! We will make certain your first hunt tonight is very special!" Drusilla picked up the wallet and flipped through the photos. She pointed to a picture of Willow. "Oh, she's a sweet morsel. Let's taste her together, Alexander."  
  
Xander looked at Drusilla, his eyes filled with need, and said, "I'm hungry." She moved closer and put her finger to his lips.  
  
"Hush. Not yet. We don't want to spoil dinner. We'll feast on Slayer blood tonight. Miss Edith knows that Slayer's blood will make you feel very, very good, indeed. We will have a wonderful time at your birthday party tonight, you and I." She tugged at the fledgling and led him back to Angelus and Spike.  
  
Angelus turned to his new vampire with a big grin on his face. "It's finally sundown. Party time! Ready to do some damage, Harris?"  
  
"Actually, yes." With that, Xander whipped out the wooden stake he had pilfered from his jacket and staked Angelus before the older vampire had a chance to react.  
  
"Oh, shi..." Angelus' words were forever cut off as he crumbled into dust. Drusilla and Spike stared at Xander, their faces filled with shock and amazement, not quite comprehending that their Sire was gone.  
  
"You...you killed Daddy!" whimpered Drusilla.  
  
"Yeah, well, I never cared much for my old man." Xander fixed Drusilla with a cruel stare. "I promised him I would see him dead. He should have listened."  
  
Spike exploded into hysterical laughter. "That was bloody FANTASTIC! Brilliant, really. The old poofter never saw it coming!" He clapped his hands and gave Xander the thumbs up gesture. "Oh, I wish all the old mates from London were here to see the scourge of Europe dusted by a high schooler! Kid, I definitely owe you an apology about that whole wanker comment. You are going to make one helluva cold blooded killer."  
  
Drusilla howled with rage, switched to her game face and started to lunge at Xander, but Spike held her back.  
  
"Let 'im go, my sweet. Angelus was really sloppy this time. You don't go turning one of your worst enemies and then expect 'im to play nice. He deserved his fate." Drusilla looked down at Spike, tears in her eyes. "There, there, Dru. We don't need him. We never did." Drusilla crawled into Spike's lap, sobbing as he consoled her.  
  
"Get out," Spike said. "If I see you again, I'll buy you a pint, but you'd be wise to steer clear of Dru for the time being."  
  
Xander grabbed a black silk shirt hanging off a rack, and walked out of the factory into the moonlight, never once looking back.  
  
"I have unfinished Scooby Gang business to take care of," he said to himself as he pulled on the shirt. "Damn, I hope this doesn't make me look too much like Dead Boy."  
  
He walked into the street, and stood his ground as a lone car approached. The driver, realizing the man in the street wasn't budging, swerved to avoid a head on collision. Stopping shortly down the road, the driver hopped out, visibly enraged as he approached Xander.  
  
"ARE YOU INSANE? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, ASSHOLE?!!" he screamed, rolling up his sleeves as if expecting a fight.  
  
Xander's face shifted to full vampire mode. "Stealing your car, asshole." The man's face paled, and he turned to run. Xander grabbed him and threw the frightened man halfway across the street into some stray garbage cans. He readjusted his shirt, strode to the car, got in, and drove away.  
  
*** to be continued ***  



	3. Release

Title: The Choice (2b/2)  
Author: Saturn Girl  
Email: saturngirl9@hotmail.com  
  
Spoilers: Second season  
Characters: X, G  
Rating: R for violence, language  
Warnings: Dark Fic...Character death  
  
Summary: AU. In part one, Xander was tortured and killed by Angelus and Drusilla. In part two, Vamp Xander was born. The story continues as Vamp Xander decides to pay a visit to the home of a certain high school librarian.  
  
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel don't belong to me. I'm just borrowing them for a few minutes, that's all. Feedback is welcome, but keep in mind I'm still pretty new at this.   
  
*****  
  
As Xander pulled the stolen car up to Giles' apartment building, Mick Jagger was singing "Sympathy for the Devil" on the radio. He stopped the car and looked in the rear view mirror, startled to realize he couldn't see his own reflection anymore. He touched the glass for a moment, then his face, as if trying to prove to himself that he was actually there. He yanked the mirror out of its base and tossed it out the window. The music abruptly clicked off as the vampire killed the ignition and hopped out of the vehicle.  
  
Xander looked up and down the darkened street, searching for any sign of the Slayer or her friends. Nope. Oz's strangely painted van wasn't parked under the usual tree, and he didn't see Mrs. Rosenberg's Volvo anywhere, either. But Xander did recognize Giles' beat up old car. It appeared that Giles was home alone.  
  
The night was still young. The Scooby Gang members were all probably finishing up their Geometry homework or eating meatloaf before congregating at Giles' home or the library. "Gee, I guess I'll never have to study for a math test or choke down Mom's horrible cooking ever again," laughed Xander as he walked up the apartment steps to Giles' door.  
  
He stopped, straightened his shirt and smoothed his hair back. Then he knocked on the door.  
  
He heard a muffled "just a moment" followed by footsteps as someone approached. The door swung open, and Xander was greeted by Giles' surprised face.  
  
"Xander! Good God, lad, where have you been? We've been so worr..."  
  
Xander put his hand up and cut Giles off before he could finish. "Giles, shut up. Don't invite me in." Xander backed up, away from the doorway, averting his eyes so the Englishman couldn't see his shame.  
  
"What? Why are you..." Realization dawned on Giles as he noticed the pallor of the young man's skin. "Oh. I see." Giles looked down, uncomfortable. "When?"  
  
"Last night," the vampire responded bitterly. "Angel grabbed Cordelia and me as we left the Bronze. I tried to fight him off, but..." unable to finish, Xander slumped against the porch railing and slid down to the ground. Sitting on the ground, holding his knees, Xander looked up at the older man with angry tears in his eyes. "Damn it, Giles, I fucked up! I couldn't protect her!"  
  
"He killed her. Oh, Xander, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Angelus has done this to you...but I don't understand..."  
  
"...why aren't I trying to chew your face off?" The vampire rose from the floor slowly and slipped closer to the doorway. He tried to pass his hand through the threshold, but was stopped by the mystical barrier. "Oh, I want to Giles. Don't take this in a gay way, but right now, you look tastier than a whole tray of Ding Dongs and other assorted chocolatey goodness."   
  
Giles, disturbed by the sudden shift in Xander's behavior, straightened up and backed several steps away from the entrance. The vampire closed his eyes, sniffing the air like a hungry animal. "I can smell the blood coursing through your body. You're very lucky that this handy little anti-vampire shield is preventing me from ripping your throat open, G-Man." Xander opened his eyes, and suddenly looked like his old self again.  
  
"You have to help me Giles. Angelus really did a number on me, not that you could tell now. All the scars disappeared when I woke up as a member of the Reflect-Me-Not Club. The fucking bastard took away everything I had. My love. My life. My soul! The demon he put inside me is like a cancer, like a blood red tide coming in to wash away everything that was ever Xander. I'm disappearing, Giles! Pretty soon there won't be anything here but a monster."  
  
"I didn't know what a monster really was until I spent a few hours with Angelus. All the time with the Scoobies, I thought I understood evil. But seeing what he did to Cordy..." Xander paused, his eyes shining with hate. "Seeing what he did to Cordy, feeling what he did to me, I finally knew the nature of true evil. And now that evil is growing inside of me, Giles, and I can't fight it. But I still have a choice. I can choose my own fate. That's the one thing Angelus couldn't strip from me!"  
  
"Kill me, Giles." Xander pulled down the collar of his silk shirt, exposing the area above his heart. "Do it now, before Buffy and Willow see me like this."  
  
"Xander, wait. Willow's been working on duplicating the gypsy's curse. We could help you..."  
  
Xander laughed. "The curse?!!! Oh, yeah, that's a good one. You saw how effective it was on Angel! No, Giles. I don't want this existence. I really don't want this. Angelus tried to use me as a pawn against all of you. He wanted me to hurt you, and I won't let that happen. I won't let him win. The only good thing that came out of this is that I got to stake the son of a bitch when he got too cocky."  
  
"You destroyed Angelus?" Giles was stunned.  
  
"I wish I could have put Dead Boy through the same torture I had to endure, but he got off easy. Poof! Instant Dead Boy dust. See, Angel wanted Buffy to kill me. That's why I came to you, G-Man. I won't give him the satisfaction of causing her any more pain. He'll never hurt Buffy again."  
  
Xander heard voices in the distance. "Damn. Giles, they're coming. Don't make me beg you, man. If you cared anything about me when I was alive, you'll do this favor for me."  
  
Giles looked at the young man standing on the porch. This once kind, generous, vibrant young man that would now never live to see another sunrise, would never laugh at stupid jokes with his friends, would never grow up and get a job or start a family. He straightened his glasses and walked quietly to his coat closet, and pulled out the crossbow stashed in the back.  
  
Xander stood up straight as Giles approached him, his eyes darting to the side as he tried to determine how long it would take for his friends to arrive.   
  
Giles leveled the crossbow at Xander's chest, but hesitated. Unable to separate his feelings for Xander from the knowledge that it was a vampire standing before him, Giles hands shook. "I can't..."  
  
Xander's face changed, taking on the familiar facial ridges and gleaming yellow eyes of a vampire. "Giles, do it NOW!" he growled.  
  
Giles fired the weapon, and the bolt pierced Xander's heart with a "thunk." Before Xander Harris dissipated in a shower of dust, he looked at his friend, a silent "thank you" on his lips.  
  
Silent, Giles walked into his kitchen, leaving the door ajar. He reached into the top cupboard and pulled out a bottle of gin. Not bothering with a glass, he took a healthy swig straight from the bottle. Then another.  
  
"Giles?" Buffy, followed by Willow, stepped across the dusty porch and entered the apartment. "Hey, I saw you talking with Xander. Where did he go? I'm going to kill him for freaking us out today! XANDER!"  
  
"Xander?" Willow called upstairs. "Why did you and Cordelia skip school today? We've been looking all over for you two!"  
  
"Buffy. Willow. I must tell you something..." Giles turned to face the girls, his face rigid, his eyes tired and rimmed with tears.  
  
It was then that Buffy finally noticed the crossbow in Giles' hand.  
  
"Xander is gone."  
  
*** End ***  
  
P.S. Sorry, lots of hurt, not a lot of comfort. I'll try harder next time. :)  



End file.
